Sweet & Sassy Cactus Seeks Hot And Wealthy Soulmate.

HELP! I am preparing my profile for match.com. With nearly 15 million members, I am confident I can find my soulmate on match.com. But... I'm going to need a really hot profile photo. Even though I can't date all of the men online, I certainly want everyone to appreciate how unbelievably sexy I am.

Miles took 435 photos of me this weekend, and we have finally narrowed it down to 3 profile photo contenders.

Contestant No. 1: I think I look like the cactus-next-door in the photo. Maybe it's not sexy enough??



Contestant No. 2: I think I look very mysterious and alluring here. Like Sharon Stone.

Contestant No. 3: I hate this photo, but Miles thinks it makes me look like "a magical princess sex goddess." Which does sound kind of good.

Thoughts? Shit, I don't think any of these photos are going to work. Maybe we need to have a photo shoot at the beach. I always look good when the wind is blowing through my spikes.