After enduring the Most Painful Happy Hour of My Entire Life, I had guacamole for dinner. (Can you really call it "Happy Hour" if you spend the entire time planning your exit strategy?)
I digress.
The guacamole was divine. I finished the bag of chips and all the guacamole in five minutes. Ok, it was probably closer to three minutes. So then I ordered a second bag of chips and more guacamole. (There might have been a third order of guacamole, but it's hard to remember the details. I'm not great with math. Also, there might have been donuts.)
Oh, why does Larry have to be so short?! He's also ugly, but I can handle ugly. I have dated plenty of men who were ugly-sexy. But ugly and short?? I think that is Mother Nature's way of saying "this ugly %$#er should not reproduce under any circumstances." How can I defy Mother Nature? It's not my fault that Evolution wants me to date really hot men with expensive cars.
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