Shit.

My life is over. The two most important men in my life - Larry and Miles - hate each other. I think I'm hyperventilating (and, incidentally, I don't know how I'm going to put out tonight after what happened. Will Tylenol PM help?)

Miles came over after work to hang out and meet Larry. Everything seemed to be going well. But then I had to use the powder room, and when I came back, they were fighting! At first, I thought they were just goofing around.


But then Miles dropkicked Larry in the head.

And then Larry crushed Miles.

Miles screamed like a girl and then stormed out of my apartment dramatically. I think this is the part where Larry and Miles are supposed to laugh and become best friends - except Miles is gone and ignoring my text messages, emails, and voicemails. In retrospect, I probably should have broken up the fight and skipped the photo shoot.