No, that's not right. Let me try again.
Larry destroyed my digital camera.
Much better! I should go back to the beginning. I had plans to meet several girlfriends for happy hour tonight. We made these plans at least two weeks again. Sometimes, a girl just needs to hang out with her bitches. After last night's fiasco, I definitely needed some girl time.
I thought Larry would be thrilled - he could go home; fart; and watch ESPN.
I was wrong. Larry freaked out. He got jealous and thought I was going out to meet men. He whined, begged, cried, bargained, threatened, cried some more, issued ultimatums, apologized, shrieked, sent me flowers at work, called me a slut, apologized again - and all this happened before 10 a.m.
Well, Wendy does not respond well to ultimatums. I went to happy hour! But when I got home, I found this:
[INSERT PHOTO OF DESTROYED DIGITAL CAMERA]
On the bright side, Larry is G-O-N-E. I have no idea where he went, and I honestly don't care. Good riddance!
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