Friday, April 17, 2009

Brilliant New Diet.

Upon further consideration, I have decided that I can do so much better than Larry. He really is an ugly little spud. Before I jump back into the dating market, I decided I better slim down a little. So, I have invented the most amazing diet ever:

The Vitamin Diet!!!

My diets usually fail. You know why? Because I feel tired and sluggish, and then I give up and eat food. But these SUPER vitamins will give me all the energy I need.

Seriously, look at how many vitamins come in a single packet! I am just going to take a vitamin every three hours and I am not going to eat anything else this weekend. By Monday morning, I will be a thin sexy goddess.

I carefully read the information provided with the vitamin packet, so I know this is a brilliant plan. The packet has the following super vitamins: Beta Carotene; Super B-Complex 100; Buffered C-Complex 2000; Super Energy Plus (wow, this Bad Boy has ingredients like Don Sen, Ho Show Wu and Brazilian Suma!); Vitamin E Complex 1000 (that's A LOT of Vitamin E); Vitamin B-12 1000/Octacosanol 1000 (if you can't pronounce it, then you know it's important); Amino Acids 1000; Bee Pollen 1000 (I love honey); and Mineral Complex 1000. Summer bikini body, here I come!

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