I Am More Interesting Than The Royal Wedding

I tried reading about the upcoming royal wedding but it is just the most boring thing ever.  When I look at a photo of Prince William, my soul dies a little.  That's Prince Charming??? You've got to be kidding me. 

I have several sources close to the royal family, and they have all advised me the wedding is going to be dreadfully dull.  I am boycotting any coverage about the wedding, and I am certainly not going to buy any commemorative china. 

Rather than read about the nuptials of Prince Going Bald and Kate Making A Big Mistake, I just spent some extra time this morning gazing at myself in the mirror.

I love looking at myself in the mirror.  I could do it all day.  I am just so much more interesting than politics, royal weddings, natural disasters and even Oprah.  Yes, I went there: I am more interesting than Oprah.