Easter Candy! Or, My Cadbury Obsession

Most people assume that Halloween is the best holiday for candy.  Fools!  Halloween is about miniature packages of the candy you can buy year round.  Who wants that?  I do not need to go trick-or-treating for miniature Snickers that might be laced with arsenic.  There is also candy corn, but candy corn tastes like stale sugar.  I always feel obligated to eat one candy corn to honor the season, and then that one candy corn triggers a Massive Candy Corn Binge and afterwards, I feel nothing but deep shame and self-loathing.

Readers, forget Halloween.  Easter is the King of Candy Holidays.  Jelly beans!  Peeps!  Chocolate bunnies! 

And of course, there is the greatest Easter candy of all: Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Excuse me, I get very emotional when I talk about Cadbury Creme Eggs.  Since I joined an ashram and have embraced a yogic lifestyle, I am only supposed to eat natural foods.  I asked my guru if I could celebrate Easter with a Cadbury Creme Egg.  He said "No."  I went home and wept with frustration.  I decided I deserve one Cadbury Creme Egg.  It might delay my Cosmic Enlightment by two or three weeks, but that is a small price to pay for the hard chocolate shell and the fondant yolk.

I have been hoarding my Cadbury Creme Egg since February.  Isn't it glorious?  Sometimes, I unwrap the foil and sniff the chocolate.  It is intoxicating.  I cannot wait to eat my Cadbury Creme Egg, but not yet.... not yet.