Operation: Stay Married

Objective: Stay married until Spring 2010.

Viable Strategies for Implementing Objective: None.

Desperate Strategies for Implementing Objective:

• Get kidnapped by a cult. Pros: Lose lots of weight because it's a vegan cult. Cons: Where do I begin?
• Coma. Pros: Lose lots of weight because I'm living off an IV. Cons: I can't go that long without a bikini wax.
• Go to Antartica to study the penguins. Pros: I like penguins. Cons: Bad cell phone reception.
• My husband gets kidnapped by a cult and when he's rescued, the shock of civilization sends him into a coma. Pros: Where do I begin? Cons: None.

It's going to be a long winter.