But I now own a gorgeous pink boa and everything has changed.
I feel sexy.
Mysterious. Dangerous.
Glamorous. UNSTOPPABLE!!! 
That's it. I'm declaring an early New Years Resolution: I'm not taking this pink boa off until I meet the man of my dreams. Which, I can tell you, will probably be in two or three days, tops. I have always exuded tons of sex appeal, but with this pink boa, I am officially irresistible. This pink boa should probably be illegal. I mean, seriously, would you look at me?
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