Thursday, September 2, 2010

I Know, I Know, I Know

Yes, I know, it's been ages since I posted. What can I say? I am a horrible awful ugly malicious beast. I fell in love, and was too happy to bother with this blog. We went on long moonlight strolls, held hands, counted the stars. He kissed me softly and murmured sweet nothings into my ear. We made love for hours and hours until I begged for mercy.

And then he dumped me.

I went through Wendy's Eleven Stages Of Heartbreak:

1. Shock
2. Horror
3. Disbelief (a milder version of Stage 1)
4. Ice Cream
5. Rage
6. Despair
7. Vodka
8. Drunken yoga (I do not recommend Stage 8)
9. the Stage in which I forget to bathe until I smell like death
10. Ice Cream and Vodka
11. Acceptance

And now I think it's time to blog again. I hesitate to post a photo of myself because (a) I look like crap and (b) I'm too hungover to remember how to hook up my digital camera to my computer and it's possible I destroyed my digital camera during Stage 5.

p.s. I should probably mention that I am also officially divorced.

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