Santa Baby

Dear Santa/Husband Ralph,

I want presents. Lots and lots of presents. Expensive presents. Expensive and impractical presents. No vacuum cleaners, sewing machines or toaster ovens for this party girl. On Christmas morning, I expect the following items to be waiting for me under the tree:

(1) A gift certificate to Tiffany's in an amount that involves at least 3 zero's. My self-esteem would really benefit from this gift.

(2) A one week vacation at a luxury spa - ALONE. A pampered wife is a happy wife. Well, a complacent wife. Ok, a pampered wife will probably not kill you in your sleep.

(3) Shoulder pads.

(4) A new purse. I'm not too particular about this one, I'd just like something that Paris Hilton owns.

(5) A pair of Manolo Blahnik's. Nothing black. Think Sex and the City.

(6) Whatever the expensive new "it" gadget is. I don't actually know what this is BUT I WANT IT.

I reserve the right to revise or expand upon the scope of this list. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Ralph - if you buy me all of these presents, I will probably hate you less.

Wendy T. Cactus