Saturday, February 6, 2010

My First Stalker!

Exciting news: I have a stalker! His name is Creepy Lurker and he finally posted a comment after my January 31 post (Why I Would Make An Excellent Celebrity). This is what Creepy Lurker wrote:

You are looking great in that photo.
I really enjoy the photos where
you and Jo are side by side like that.
Oh yeah.

What a thoughtful and touching comment. I have always wanted a stalker, and to be honest, I have always felt incomplete - like something important was missing from my life. I have dated a lot and had plenty of boyfriends, and a few secret admirers, and hell, I even have a husband, but I have never had a stalker. But now that Creepy Lurker has posted a comment, I feel ... I feel ... oh my god, I don't know quite how to describe this feeling. It feels like the world is full of promise and hope and sunshine; everyone looks beautiful; I don't care if there's traffic or if the old lady ahead of me on the grocery store line pays for her groceries with pocket change and coupons and argues with the cashier about the price of the chicken wings. It feels like there is a star glowing inside my chest. I know I have felt this way before, it's just been so long, it's hard to identify.

Oh my god, I remember now. I feel ... happy.

I can tell good things are going to happen! What if Creepy Lurker is my soulmate? Or, maybe Creepy Lurker is a famous television producer who is going to turn my life into a reality series. No, I wouldn't be that lucky. Creepy Lurker is probably just my soulmate.

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