Saturday, January 9, 2010

My Friend Jo

My freshman roommate Josephine is coming to visit indefinitely. I have always thought that Josephine was destined to have a tragic life because she has such a tragic, old lady/dead empress name. That is why I call her Jo, JoJo, and sometimes, when I am very drunk, Joey.

But alas, it seems that Tragedy has caught up with Jo. I don't know exactly what happened, but it sounds like her husband Waldo is banging his much younger (and much more attractive) secretary. Waldo told Jo that they should stay together and he really wants to end things with Misty the Secretary - but he's going to keep banging Misty because otherwise, Misty might sue him for sexual harassment. In the meantime, Misty is going to share the master bedroom with Waldo and Jo can just stay in the guest room. Jo tried this arrangment for 3 weeks, but I finally convinced her to take a break from Jo's Marital Hell and instead live in Wendy's Marital Hell. (are you getting all of this? there's a quiz at the end of this post.)

Jo has really low self-esteem. Some women deal with low self-esteem by seeking solace with their good friends Ben and Jerry. Other women seek refuge in the arms of Jack Daniels. Jo has instead made a career out of geting plastic surgery. Here's a photo of Jo in college:

And this is what she looks like today:

I mean, holy crap, if I didn't know better, I would say those were two completely different women! But no, that's Jo, pre-freshman 15, and Jo, post-about 17 different types of plastic surgery. It's sad really, she almost looks plastic.


  1. Wendy,

    Where's the quiz?!

  2. Hey, dumbass, when I said "there's a quiz" it was actually a FIGURE OF SPEECH that means "are you paying attention?" JFC. What sort of nitwits are reading my blog?