Green Tea Tastes Like Cat Pee

I have been following a strict diet that my guru recommended for the past several months. It has been very effective.  I have lost a lot of weight and have a slamming hot body.  But, I really miss eating things that taste good.  I mostly eat cabbage and drink a lot of green tea.

Oh look, it's Sunday afternoon AND I GET TO HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF GREEN TEA OH PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY NOW.

Oh look at the green tea steeping.  Oh I am so excited to have this cup of green tea.  It is going to make me feel so enlightened.  I am so grateful for my guru and his wisdom.  OH MY GOD I WOULD GIVE UP FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE FOR A DIET COKE OR A CUP OF COFFEE OH SWEET BEAUTIFUL COFFEE ELIXIR OF THE GODS. 

Oh look, ya-ay, the green tea is ready to drink now.  Mmm, it smells like cat pee.  Really, I do not miss coffee or coke.  Who needs soda?  I WILL TRADE MY ETERNAL SOUL FOR A SINGLE SIP OF DIET COKE.  OH HELL I'LL TRADE MY ETERNAL SOUL FOR A SIP OF DIET RITE OR THAT CRAPPY GENERIC BRAND OF COLA THEY SELL AT COSTCO.

I miss flavor.