The Indignity of Being Single

When I have to go to the hardware store, I feel so deeply, painfully ashamed of myself. Nothing screams "pathetic lonely spinster" like a woman roaming the aisles of a hardware store alone. 

A woman does not belong in a hardware store unless she is escorted by a big, strong man who is going to take her shoe shopping just after they pick up a triple ply bunt. 

I think I can handle being single if I can just avoid ever having to go to a hardware store again.

Next time, I will just pay a homeless man to go into the store with me.  Then I will not feel quite so self-conscious.