Sunday, May 3, 2009

Survey Says:

According to the results from my latest poll, the sun will come out tomorrow. Wow. I am stunned. I did not realize my readers are so lame and optimistic. I suppose you also think the glass is half full. Well, let me tell you about the glass. It is EMPTY. There are maybe a couple of drops of beer left in the glass, but that's really not beer anymore - it's just Larry's backwash because he drank all your beer while you were paying the bartender.

Here is a photo of me with a cup of coffee. Look, I'm sorry, but I've got nothing else. Do you know what I did this weekend? I cried; I ate way too much ice cream; and I drunk dialed Larry. After binging on about seven gallons of ice cream, I look like a porpoise, so I'm posting this photo instead.

I miss my dignity.

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