Wendy vs. The Cake: Part One

I have been tormented by a box of cake mix for the past week.  I sought guidance from my guru.  He told me to stop being so shallow.   

I have been following a very strict diet so I can be as gorgeous and sexually desirable as possible.  A yellow cake with chocolate frosting is NOT part of my diet.  But baking a yellow cake with chocolate frosting?  That's okay! 

I preheated the oven to 350 degrees... 

I gathered all the ingredients... 



and mixed everything together.   I could feel myself growing stronger...

I slowly poured the batter into the cake pans...

I have been obsessing about this cake for over a week.  I have dreamed about its taste, its smell, its texture... But you know what? Baking a cake is just as satisfying as eating a cake.

I am amazing.  I baked a cake and did not even taste the batter.  I did not even want to taste the batter! I am a pillar of strength and inspiration.

Finally, I frosted the cake.

And then... all hell broke loose.  In hindsight, I probably should have skipped the last step.  We all have lines that we should not cross, and my line is apparently made from chocolate frosting. 

My therapist says I should blog about what happened after I frosted the cake.  But I'm not ready to return to that dark, dark place.

Please go away now.