Friday, June 3, 2011

Wendy vs. The Cake: Part 3 (The Final Shameful Chapter)

To recap, even though I have been on a strict diet, I decided it would be a good idea to bake a cake. I had been craving cake and reasoned I could overcome my cravings by baking. But then, I frosted the cake, and chocolate frosting is my kryptonite, and then the cake called me a Fat Bitch and said I would die alone while wearing Old Navy jeans. I blacked out and went bat shit crazy on the cake. I am not proud of what happened.

I burrowed into the cake like a rabid meerkat.

It was not my finest hour.

For a moment, I regained my self-control. I thought everything was going to be okay.


But the smell of chocolate frosting was too intoxicating and even though I was on the verge of exploding, I dove back for more cake.  The feeding frenzy was not yet over.

Finally, I passed out.  Look at me.  I'm like a beached whale in a bakery. 

 I feel ashamed and fat.  Very, very fat.

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