Sunday, March 21, 2010

An Open Marriage? Really?

Today was an interesting day. No, that's an understatement. Today was quite possibly one of the 10 most interesting days of my life (and there is a lot of competition for that list!) I am digesting everything that happened. Rather than tell you about my day, it is easier to just provide you with a transcript of a conversation I had this morning with my husband:

Ralph: Good morning, Nutmeg.
Me: [silence, reading a magazine]
Ralph: Sweet Pea, I have an idea.
Me: [turning page in magazine]
Ralph: Maybe we should see a marriage counselor.
Me: [laughter]
Ralph: I'm serious!
Me: I know you are. [more laughter] That's why I'm laughing.
Ralph: We haven't had sex since our honeymoon. We never talk. You are always mean to me.
Me: That's because you revolt me. A marriage counselor is not going to change anything.
Ralph: Oh.
Me: [several minutes of silence. I hope that maybe Ralph has slipped into a coma.]
Ralph: Cinnamon?
Me: [damn, no coma.]
Ralph: What if we have an open marriage?
Me: What?
Ralph: An open marriage. Like, we are allowed to date other people and have extramar-
Me: I know what an open marriage is. Seriously? I can date? I can sleep with other men?
Ralph: Yes.
Me: And we're still married?
Ralph: Yes.
Me: And you'll pay the rent?
Ralph: Yes.
Me: And my credit card bills?
Ralph: Yes.
Me: Then we have ourselves a deal!

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