Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Meet Ralph.

I'd like to introduce Ralph. My husband. Excuse me, I need to go vomit.

It seems ironic that my husband is named Ralph because Ralph also means "vomit" and well, I don't think I need to explain myself. (I can never remember the differences between "irony" and "coincidence" and "tragic.")

I know the lighting in this photo is not very good. Let me explain: we took the photo inside by the light of a single lamp because Ralph is extremely ugly. I cannot be seen with him in the following places: (1) public, (2) well-lit indoor spaces. I enjoy being seen with Ralph in the following places: (1) no where.

Please don't judge me too harshly. I made a terrible mistake, but I think we can all understand. When a passionate woman like myself has been dating a man for a week; and she thinks that she might eventually kind of like the guy if he stopped farting every time he laughed; and then that man proposes; well, of course the Passionate Woman has to take a chance and say "yes!"


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